Consent* is showing agreement to take part in a sex act.
Consent must be given freely, voluntarily, and actively to count. There must be no threat, intimidation, pressure or guilt-tripping.
All words, behaviour and circumstances are crucial to decide whether consent exists. Just because no one said “no” does not mean there is consent. Objection may be implied from the context and from the relationship of the parties.
All people have the right to say “no” at any point. Consent to some sexual acts (e.g. kissing, oral sex) does not equate to consent to penetration. A person might also consent to sex at one point, but change their mind later.
* Please note that legally, various acts of sexual assault may be named and defined differently under the Singapore Penal Code. See below for more information about the law.
How to get consent
If you aren’t 100% sure whether your partner is consenting, always check verbally. Try phrases like “Is it okay if I…?” or “Would you like me to…?”
Alcohol or drugs may prevent someone from understanding a situation. If someone is too drunk to make conscious, informed decisions, they cannot legally consent to any sexual activity.
Persons under the age of 16 are legally unable to give consent. This means that even if a minor had said yes to sexual acts, the law still sees it as sexual assault. If the victim is a minor under the age of 14, the law carries a heavier punishment.
Below are some Frequently Asked Questions regarding consent.
I (the victim) was drunk
Section 90 of the Penal Code states that there is no consent if the person giving the consent is unable to understand the nature and consequence of his consent due to unsoundness of mind, intoxication or influence of drugs. Thus if a person is so drunk as to be unable to understand the nature and consequence of her consent, this is not considered consent under the law.
I liked him and we were dancing closely earlier in the night
Consent must be to the act in question – penetration. Person A consenting to any other acts, such as close dancing, kissing or oral sex does not mean that A has consented to vaginal penetration or any other sexual activity. No one has the right to continue further than what Person A had consented to.
I was so scared I did not struggle
In PP v Teo Eng Chan, four men had sex with a 16 year old girl. They claimed that they believed she had consented, even though she had not. The girl did not struggle. The accused argued that the absence of injury and struggle indicated consent. The court rejected this argument and found that even though there was no injury or resistance, there was no consent. The victim had submitted because of the presence and threats of the four men and the fact that she was in a deserted quarry on a dark night. Submission does not necessarily imply consent.
He is/was my boyfriend
If B has, or had a relationship with A — for example, if A was B’s past or present boyfriend, or a date, that does not mean that A can do anything he wants with B without B’s consent. Rape or sexual assault may even occur in between consensual sexual acts a couple engages in. B’s consent cannot be conveniently extrapolated to where it is absent, even if B has consented to sexual acts prior and after the act in question.
I thought she was a consenting party
To establish a defence of mistaken consent, the burden is on the accused to prove on a balance of probabilities that he had in good faith believed that the complainant had consented to his having sexual intercourse with her. The court would assess the circumstances to see whether it had been reasonable for the accused to have this belief.
For more information on consent, including previous court cases, please click here.
How is consent defined by law?
There are many cases that affect how the law understands consent. Section 90 of the Penal Code (set out below) provides some language clarifying some situations that are not consensual – but it is best to talk to a lawyer to understand the position in a particular case.
A consent is not such a consent as is intended by any section of this Code (Section 90, Penal Code) —
(a) if the consent is given by a person —
(ii) under a misconception of fact
and the person doing the act knows, or has reason to believe, that the consent was given in consequence of such fear or misconception;
(b) if the consent is given by a person who, from unsoundness of mind, mental incapacity, intoxication, or the influence of any drug or other substance, is unable to understand the nature and consequence of that to which he gives his consent; or
(c) unless the contrary appears from the context, if the consent is given by a person who is under 12 years of age.
An episode of Talking Point discussed what constitutes consent. (Other questions that were raised during filming not captured in this video are listed below.)
You can also view a video explaining consent using a simple analogy here.
Common attitudes about sex and consent
In our 2014 survey, we found that 1 in 3 young people in Singapore have experienced sexual violence. We urgently need to develop a culture of respect and healthy communication around sex, but many myths and misunderstandings about what consent means persist. Some of them are addressed below.
Did her acts before passing out constitute consent?
No, they didn’t. But even if someone is naked and saying ‘Have sex with me!’, the moment she passes out, she’s not consenting anymore.
Some guys say 'no' is just part of the courtship and means you have to up your game. What do you say to that?
If you treat a ‘no’ as a ‘no’, the worst that happens is that you don’t have sex that one time. If you treat a ‘no’ as a ‘yes’, the worst that happens is you rape someone. If you care about not raping people, don’t do that.
Some people say when a woman goes to a sleepover with a guy and his parents are not around, she should expect there will be sex.
That’s a silly assumption. But even if both parties are expecting a sexual encounter, anything can happen – you can get tired, you can fall ill, you can quarrel, you can just find you’re not in the mood. So even if people are intending to have sex, consent is still at issue.
Some people say having to check and ask 'ruins the mood'.
We receive a lot of messages from the media, from pornography, that sex is somehow instinctive – something we know how to do by magic and telepathy. But you ought to be able to talk about sex. For instance, to be responsible, you have to be able to talk about condoms and contraception – so why not consent? Also, if you can talk about what you like or don’t like, what you’re comfortable with, what you’re in the mood for, sex is not just more respectful, it can be more enjoyable.
Some people say that parents don't want consent to be taught, because young people just shouldn't have sex before marriage.
They are misunderstanding two separate things. One is about your own choices – when do you decide you’re going to have sex? The other is about the other person’s choices. Are they agreeing to have sex with you? Even if you only have sex when you are married – you still need to have consent.
